Well, I managed to get Mr. Ranger to the vet. It was quite an adventure!

Ranger, being an intelligent Army type kitty, had his military intelligence at work. He knew something was up as soon as I came home – not doubt by working with his colleagues in the KCIA (Kitty Central Intelligence Agency). I’m sure they the provisions of the CALEA (Communications Assistance to Law Enforcement) act and put a tap on my telephone.

So, as soon as chow was done, Ranger deployed into the field practicing his escape and evasion techniques. Let me say, for the record, his techniques were very good. I had to move the sofa twice and crawl under two beds to finally get him.

On the way to the vet, Ranger practiced his interrogation training. He constantly reminded me, quite vocally, that all he was required to meow was his name, rank and kitty number (Ranger, Kitten First Class, 4). Needless to say, the conversation was one sided – his litany and my confusion.

At the K-P-O-W camp, Ranger, following the best tradition of the American fighting kitty, attempted to escape, several times. He was not cooperative, at all, with the evil enemy VET, who attempted to withdraw his blood for nefarious purposes.

Eventually, Ranger managed to escape from the lab. Completely fooling the rather simple transportation guard, Ranger managed to get the guard to bring him back to Ranger’s side of the battle lines.

The foolish guard is being interrogated as we speak, by several kitties with very sharp claws!

All joking aside – Ranger looks good. His bladder was a normal size – and it was empty, so no urinalysis was needed. Dr Kate will call me with the results of the blood test tomorrow morning.

Now, the bad news is that Ranger gained 1.5 lbs since his last visit in January. So, there are now some new feeding rules in the house. All food has to be picked up – no free feeding. Little Bit will not be happy, as he is the grazer of the house. It has to be done; I have to stop him from eating everyone’s leftovers.

Mark

PS I take Gracie in tomorrow for her spay and microchipping!

PPS - Winter storm watch? Six inches of SNOW! I need to move south!

PPPS - Ranger is complaining to the logistics support staff about the lack of leftover "chow"!

The hard working agents (spies) of the K-CIA, have been diligently debriefing Ranger (Kitten, First Class), in their attempts to determine the nefarious plans of the evil VET.

Using the ultra secret Kitty-comp 2000 computer, the agents, under the guidance of Lt. Col. L. Bit, have cracked the blood diagnosis code of the evil vet organization.

The report on Ranger is that his kidneys and liver are fine – all blood test results were good.

However, much to the dismay of the kitty organizations, a certain canine assigned Lt. Col. Bit’s organization has been captured by the evil VET organization. The canine, Puppy Recruit S. S. Grace, will undergo a spay and microchip procedure this very day.

The kitties will mount a rescue operation, scheduled for sometime after 0830 5-April-06. They have enlisted (threatened, brainwashed, etc) the rather simple human transportation provider (using the threat of claws) to go and pick up the S.S. Grace canine from the evil vet POW camp.

Mark, I greatly enjoyed your writeup! I am so glad all was fine with the testing.

Quote:

Ranger deployed into the field practicing his escape and evasion techniques. Let me say, for the record, his techniques were very good. I had to move the sofa twice and crawl under two beds to finally get him.

Our beds are not high enough to be crawled under by a human, so when our cats hide under them, it is hard to get them out.

I hope Gracie does well with her spay.

Oh Mark, that was hysterical!!!! I love it when you write up stuff like that!! So funny.... and today, not feeling well with apparent allergies totally clogging my brain, upsetting my balance and this wicked headache, that laugh was GREAT!!!! Thank you so much!!

I'm glad that Ranger, Kitten First Class, 4, was able to evade his transport to the evil POW vet camp as well as he did given his health issues. That shows he is a very able recruit and that his escape and evasion techniques are still top notch. My hat is off to the boy!!!!

As for the canine, Puppy Recruit S. S. Grace, I'm quite sure that with a team like Lt. Col. L. Bit and Ranger, Kitten First Class, working on the rescue mission... they will succeed with flying colors.

Do keep us posted in case more recruits are needed for this rescue mission.

Mark,

I just read your wonderful - funny - and very entertaining post. I'm glad Ranger did well at the vet. I was picturing the scene - you're really a great story-teller.

Maria