Hi Everybody, it's me, Sparky the bad!!!

Well, spring is comin.... someday... maybe, when the white stuff goes away.... but I was outside yesterday cause my daddy letted me out and I already catched my first birdie of the season!! I catched a morning dove. Daddy picked me up and tried to help the birdie get out of my claws by trying to hold it by it's tail but all the tail feather falled out and the birdie managed to flied away. Mommy comed home and saw LOTS of feathers all over the porch and she was NOT happy with me. Hey, I was ONLY PLAYIN with the birdie. It's not my fault that daddy maked all the feathers fall out. Why do I get blamed for everything????

Then, the other day there was these big dawg looking things in our backyard. Mommy telled daddy they were deer. There was a mommy one, a little boy one and a little girl one but they were like teenagers or something cause mommy and daddy were tellin me an Peaches that the baby ones have spots and these ones didn't have no spots. How comed mommy and daddy didn't wanted to scared them away when they were eating MY GRASS??? And they were digging holes in our yard too!!! What's up with that? Daddy just kept saying "That's cool" when he was watchin them. How come they can stayed outside and I can't? They were funny looking dawgs though... big ears and they were all brown and had a flippy little tails on the back - not long like Snowballs or Caseys. Must be some weird breeds... hm....they stayed in our backyard for a hour and a half. Then they went into the woods.

Anyways, has any other kitty's catched any birdies yet or am I the first one????

Sparky the bad

Oh, birds, well, there was that most unfortunate dove incident a few years back when Galen got out one night. A dove had been nesting in a hanging flower pot on our front porch, and Galen had been intently watching the dove and the two babies for days from the window.

I went out the front door for something when it was dark, and did not see Galen's black self sneak out along with me.

When we went looking for him two or so hours later, sadly, we found him by the back enclosure trying to get back in, with his "catch" lying next to him, dead. It was one of the baby doves.

It was sad, but it was nice that Galen thought to try to bring it to us as a gift.

Another time, Galen came running in the cat flap from the enclosure with a sparrow like bird in his mouth. Jim cornered Galen in the bathroom and got the still living bird from Galen's mouth. It had a punture mark on it's neck with a drop of blood, so I don't know if it did survive after Jim set it in the yard under a bush. It was gone the next day, but it would have gotten some bacteria in it from the wound. Maybe it was ok.

Too bad the bird came in through the lattice of our lattice-enclosed back porch.

When we used to take the cats out on harness and leashes, before we built the enclosure, Galen would leap up like he was a rocket taking off to try to catch birds flying low over our yard, coming in for landings on the fence. I couldn't believe how high Galen could jump straight up! He almost was able to snatch one out the air!

So, finally, his leash was a dog leash with a plastic enclosed chain and a heavy, thick clip to try to weigh him down.

Headquarters
Department of Felines
Cat Defense Forces
Our Location Is A Big Secrete, So I Can’t Put the Address Here
I Can’t Tell You the City or State, Either


To: Mr. Sparky the Pirate

From: Lt Col. L. Bit/CC

Subject: Deer

1. It has come to my attention, through certain National Feline Technical sources, that “deer” have begin an invasion of your territory. In solidarity with our southerly kitty relations, we are offering the following advice and information to combat this invasion.

2. First, remember that the deer creature is quite large. Oftentimes, the dear creatures arm themselves with large pointed sticks, which the creatures implant in their heads. Our chief scientist, Major D. Usty, CDF, believes that contact with the stick things would be “unwise”.

3. Additionally, our chief medical officer, Col E. Van, CDF, FD, has determined through testing that the deer creatures have violated the 42nd Protocol of the Geneva Treaty and are engaged in certain forms of biological warfare. The deer creatures have been known to deposit large amounts of “droppings”, which contain nasty “worm things”. Also, deer creatures are known to harbor fleas and other small biting bugs. It goes without saying the deer contagions could require any member of the Cat Defense Forces to go to the VET!

4. The best and most economical method of dealing with deer creature infestations is to employ your canine units. My senior special services advisor, Kitten First Class (name redacted) call sign Ranger, has informed me that the employment of canine units tend to drive off the deer creatures.

5. Again, my chief scientist, Major D. Usty, CDF, believes that, due the grotesquely large ears on the deer creatures, the bark of the canine units causes immense pain and discomfort. We all know the canine unit’s bark certainly causes us enough trouble.

6. Drill Sergeant P. Ippin, has been working with our canine unit, a certain Puppy First Class S.S Gracie to train her for deer intervention duties. The canine unit’s nose can determine when deer creatures are attempting in infiltrate your perimeter. When perimeter infiltration is discovered, the canine unit’s audio weapons system can be deployed. Also know, once your canine unit’s audio weapon system is deployed, additional canine units in the general area automatically engage their audio weapon system simultaneously.

7. Again, I understand that you have two canine units under your command. With a minimal amount of training, these canine units can be programmed to prevent deer perimeter violations.

8. The above information should solve your deer creature infestation. If this does not work, be advised that we are ready to take stronger measures to aid you.


Sincerely.

(Signed)
L. BIT. Lieutenant Colonel, CDF
Commander

Dear L. BIT. Lieutenant Colonel, CDF, Commander:

Wow...you sound really important..... wow.... I am only a kitty trying to be the top cat and here, you even have a whole title and an organization and everything!!!

I have not had the opportunity to spy on any more deer creatures in our yard since that first instance that I writed about. Maybe they sawed me in the window and runned away cause I scared them. Lots of humans are scared of black kitty's so maybe deer creatures of scared of us too.

I did not see any large pointed sticks implanted in their heads when they were here though..... maybe they came in peace and didn't want to fight with us. Could that be? They looked pretty calm eating stuff in my back yard. Hm....

I will certainly discuss this matter with the lowly canine units in our house... Snowball has a really loud bark and Casey's is pretty close too.... that would certainly make the deer creatures runned away. I will keep in mind if they show up again to infiltrate the perimiters of MY yard that I will notify you and your recruits if help is needed.

Thank you for your advice and your wish to aid me and the others in this invasion should it happen again.

Mr. Sparky the Bad


Note from Sparky's maternal human:

Oh Mark and Michelle, that is great!

I love the dialogue (sp?) guys! Very entertaining......and fun!

Maria

Today, the "children" are playing hide and seek with a mouse at home. I did have the critter in my hands to take and set free outside (had to get him out of Sparky's mouth which took a bit of wrangling) and the little creature got away from me as I was putting on my flip flops (yes, to take him out in the snow). I had to leave for work before anybody could catch him again so Neil is probably freaking out (he's afraid of mice and snakes and such) if he noticed everyone in "hunt mode". I'll probably have to pick up a lifeless mouse by the time I get home later today... they play with them till they wear them out and they "go to sleep" from exhaustion. Oh well.... I tried to save him.